A couple weeks ago, Vaughn and I went to an evening Stroller Strides class where the weather was gorgeous. Towards the end of class, Vaughn was rolling around on my yoga mat enjoying the warm breeze. Instead of staying at the park, I decided we would come home and lay on the hammock. Once we got home, I took Vaughn out of his car seat, went out into the backyard, held Vaughn closely to my chest with both arms wrapped around him, then sat on the hammock in preparation to relax with my baby amongst the blowing palm trees. As I started to lift my second leg, we flipped all the way around landing us on on the cement pavers. Dave was approaching the backdoor as we fell to the ground. After seeing that Vaughn was okay, he came out to ask if I was alright.
At that very moment of me falling, all that I cared or thought about was the little life I held in my arms. We were both fine, but a replay of this moment in my head made me realize how much of a metaphor to my new life this experience was. I no longer put me first. I no longer even think of me. Instead, my world revolves around making sure my baby boy is safe. I still care about me, but it's different. I care about me to ensure I can take care of him. I now think about and care for Vaughn's mom.
Vaughn will get older and part from my arms. But I will always do what I did that day I fell to the ground, hold Vaughn tightly so he doesn't get hurt. And if he does, he will know that everything's okay because he will be close to my heart. .
After hitting the ground, I looked down at Vaughn who returned my stare with a huge smile. His smile was just a reassurance to say, "Mom, I'm okay. I love you. Thank you for taking care of me."
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