day 176: the truth

Yesterday I posted about how crazy Vaughn was. He also has an extremely sweet side by telling us he loves us probably around 15-20 times a day accompanied by hugs and other sweet gestures. But then there's also his out-of-control angry emotional side. He goes from one to the other so quickly. This blog is to document our boys, and not only thing things we do or all the happy stuff but who they truly are and our journey together.

Looking at this photo makes me feel TERRIBLE that I even took it. It's filled with sadness and just makes me want to cry. My Uncle Fred posted something on Facebook about how I only post smiley pictures of Vaughn and that he's sure he cries, too. Well, here you go! Vaughn not only cries but he screams.

 I feel so bad when Vaughn gets like this but lately, it's been more often. He has so many emotions in that small body of his that he has a hard time handling it sometimes. Once he starts, it takes quite a while for him to calm down.

These pictures were taken when he was just super sad. Some days he's very indecisive and on this particular day he changed his mind three times and I didn't have that much time so his fourth time he changed his mind, it was just a little too late. He cried the entire time I was in the grocery store. I finally got "the look" from many people as my son screamed, kicked and yelled at me while my other son happily rode on my back in the baby carrier.

I am learning more than ever, that I need to remain CALM, firm and LOVING!

I kept looking at him with smiles, would try to distract him which would work for a total of 2.2 minutes and most importantly, never yelled or raised my voice. 

We always get through these episodes and I know that he knows we love him despite these behaviors. I will continue to read and educate myself on how to be the best parent I can be and ultimately rely on God and my faith.

I never thought being a parent was going to be easy street but I also didn't realize how much I'd learn about myself and how much I can handle. On this particular day, I took a ton of deep breaths, prayed a lot and in the end was able to watch a calm sleeping boy resting as he got ready to exert his crazy amounts of energy the next day.

And no matter how hard some days can be, I still love this little boy with all my heart. All my heart!